"Hello! You've reached Even Immolzeth. I apologize for not answering right away; I'm sure I'm doing something terribly distracting. If it's not too much of an inconvenience, let me know who you are and leave a message?"
To be fair, I would bet good gold that quite a few people came away from the springs with some new troubles. Is that the nature of your less-than-perfect state?
[Oh god, there is nothing simple about this?! 'Suzaku is typing...' remains on-screen for like, fifteen whole minutes. Maybe half an hour.]
I think I must have transformed into some sort of creature, but I don't remember, and the person who would probably know is trying to convince me that it didn't happen. It's that kind of issue.
[In other words, Suzaku turned into a dragon, knotted his boyfriend, and now said boyfriend won't disclose this information to Suzaku who would, in all fairness, not handle the truth well. Simple.]
I can't shake the feeling that I did something awful to them.
[Okay, that. That sure does hit close to home. Closer than he'd like, considering both Oran and himself had fallen into similar pitfalls, and have been picking up the pieces bit by bit for days... of course other people would have fallen prey, too. Of course.]
Not at all. What I have are some clues, if you can call them that.
I have wounds all over my body in various places. On my stomach, on my back, on my legs. They look like claw and teeth marks, but I have no memory of how they got there.
That sounds as if it's good odds that you met a monster, perhaps, rather than became one. But it could be both I suppose.
Either way, I don't envy you the mystery.
[And then he gives into a moment of proper self-pity: his own sins have been haunting him essentially constantly since he got back.]
Though perhaps I envy you the lack of memory. Would it be better or worse if you recalled what you did, do you think? If it was as heinous as you're concerned it is?
There is nothing worse than not knowing. I would rather know the bitter truth than have it hidden from me.
I am not a good person, Even. I have done many terrible things in my life whether I'd intended to or not. Having no knowledge of those sins would make it impossible to atone for them.
I think it doesn't matter what the person who committed the transgression thinks. If you hurt someone, you can certainly try to atone, but what matters is whether the one you hurt will allow you to do so.
[More self-pity: he's been told as much, though not in so many words. And it hurt, and so he's left passing the pain along.]
We can just hope they want to forgive as much as we want to be forgiven.
[Look, fair??? But Suzaku's just going to ignore that. He's going to ignore all of that because he's come down with a bad case of butthurt and he's refusing to take his suppository. Sorry, Even.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-26 11:09 pm (UTC)Well enough. The last month has been challenging.
It has been too long. I hope you've been well?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-28 02:24 am (UTC)As for me... I've been worse, but I suppose that isn't reassuring either.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-29 03:24 am (UTC)To be fair, I would bet good gold that quite a few people came away from the springs with some new troubles. Is that the nature of your less-than-perfect state?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 02:46 am (UTC)[Oh god, there is nothing simple about this?! 'Suzaku is typing...' remains on-screen for like, fifteen whole minutes. Maybe half an hour.]
I think I must have transformed into some sort of creature, but I don't remember, and the person who would probably know is trying to convince me that it didn't happen. It's that kind of issue.
[In other words, Suzaku turned into a dragon, knotted his boyfriend, and now said boyfriend won't disclose this information to Suzaku who would, in all fairness, not handle the truth well. Simple.]
I can't shake the feeling that I did something awful to them.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 03:31 am (UTC)[Okay, that. That sure does hit close to home. Closer than he'd like, considering both Oran and himself had fallen into similar pitfalls, and have been picking up the pieces bit by bit for days... of course other people would have fallen prey, too. Of course.]
I'm sorry.
You don't have any recollection at all?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 03:38 am (UTC)I have wounds all over my body in various places. On my stomach, on my back, on my legs. They look like claw and teeth marks, but I have no memory of how they got there.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 04:15 am (UTC)Either way, I don't envy you the mystery.
[And then he gives into a moment of proper self-pity: his own sins have been haunting him essentially constantly since he got back.]
Though perhaps I envy you the lack of memory. Would it be better or worse if you recalled what you did, do you think? If it was as heinous as you're concerned it is?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 04:34 am (UTC)I am not a good person, Even. I have done many terrible things in my life whether I'd intended to or not. Having no knowledge of those sins would make it impossible to atone for them.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-30 08:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 01:15 am (UTC)Do you disagree?
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 01:21 am (UTC)[More self-pity: he's been told as much, though not in so many words. And it hurt, and so he's left passing the pain along.]
We can just hope they want to forgive as much as we want to be forgiven.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 01:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 02:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 03:04 am (UTC)[OH BOY, DOESN'T THAT JUST BEG THE QUESTION "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO, SUZAKU"???]
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 03:34 am (UTC)[look. Ask a scholar about hell and this is what you get. Another txt comes quickly afterwards though. ]
look. This is all talking around things. Do you want to come over? Get it off your chest properly? I have wine.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-10-31 03:51 am (UTC)Fine. I'll be there momentarily.